Overcoming alcohol addiction: It was up to me to find me again
Alcohol awareness week ran from 21 – 27 November this year. As a Trust, we are tackling stigmas around addiction and seeking guidance, especially around the festive period where social drinking, family bereavement and mental health difficulty can all play a part in consumption.
Change Grow Live (CGL) is a social care charity, helping people overcome addiction and challenges with well-being. Below is the journey of a peer mentor at Change Grow Live, who was referred by Newham hospital. This individual would like to remain anonymous and has shared her story through alcohol addiction to recovery.
What impact has alcohol had on your life?
My journey with alcohol began in 2012. When my son was two, I realised that my glass of wine had become a bottle. I went to the GP for help and was placed on a detox. I stopped drinking and became a workaholic. I didn’t know or understand why I was drinking.
I started drinking heavily again at the beginning of 2018 and one day I buckled whilst my son was with me. That was a defining moment in my life. I was in and out of Newham hospital and social services became involved. I was at risk of losing my son.
I was referred to Change Grow Live (CGL) by Newham hospital and had counselling for 4 weeks to help me. I was at risk of losing my child and I was put on an alcohol tag, where I was sober for 18 months. But in 2019 I had the worst relapse, unknown to me from the baggage I was carrying. The struggle of being a single mother and feeling alone. I was drinking to the extreme, a bottle of vodka a day and there came a point when I ended up in hospital.
In December I was in the hospital and started hallucinating and that wasn’t even my lowest. The day I was leaving the hospital I was told that my son had been taken by the social worker to be with his godmother. I was broken. My child was gone, and I went into depression, turning to alcohol. Alcohol was that friend that didn’t judge, even though it was killing me.
I lost my identity, and it was up to me to find myself again. I was looking at myself and thinking: what is hurting? One day I got up and started reading and researching trauma, alcohol dependency and I listened to any family and hospital staff who would guide me.
An important part of recovery for me was to map out the road that led me to alcohol, to create a stable foundation for myself, navigate my emotion and give myself space and permission to feel everything. This helped me understand addiction and reactions, and therefore, understand myself and my journey. It was also important that I gave my son space to be able to express how my alcohol addiction had affected him, too.
I haven’t drank since January 2020.
How was your experience at Newham hospital?
It was good and every time I relapsed; I always knew that I had help. One nurse said, ‘you are back again?’ and it was the concern in her voice that mattered. It was also my doctor, who spoke to the social worker and asked to give me an opportunity. They were amazing.
Would you recommend CGL?
I would definitely recommend CGL. When you are ready, just know there are so many people like you who are getting help. I became a peer mentor to make an impact, as I wished for me when I was on my journey to recovery. I love to give service now and it’s just having that strength to do it. I have a list of people I call each week to check up on them after treatment as a peer mentor. It really feels amazing to be able to make an impact.
How has CGL impacted your career?
I got my current role through CGL. I went to see the team and told them I wanted to work. They picked up the phone and called an employer and the employer was ready to call me the next day. It has been amazing to be a part of this and give service.
Your advice on how to get help?
I would recommend going to CGL. It is scary but it is that first step. From there you begin to get answers and if that isn’t enough, then you can ask for the help. I know the stigma which comes with addiction. Get the help and make yourself a better person.
It is everybody’s responsibility to pick up on alcohol-related harm and signpost those who need support to services who can help them.
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