“Caring can be a positive and meaningful experience”
Carers’ Week is an annual awareness campaign that recognises and shares the contributions carers make to families and local communities. Delirium specialist Martine Burrell shares her experience caring for her mother, the support provided by her employer and advice for carers at St Bartholomew’s.
Caring for a person with dementia can be a positive and meaningful experience, but can also be mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting.
Without proper support, caring can lead to feeling isolated, stressed and overwhelmed. It’s easy to overlook your own physical and mental health needs when you are so focussed on caring for somebody else.
I have worked with people with dementia and their carers for many years, but gained a new perspective after my own mother was diagnosed with dementia following a stroke in 2019.
Despite my professional experience, having a large, supportive family, and sufficient resources to access care, the diagnosis has meant changes and challenges for all involved.
Throughout this time, the support from St Bartholomew’s Hospital has enabled me to keep working, which has been invaluable, not just financially, but also for my own wellbeing.
I was able to apply for a flexible working pattern, which meant I could work a condensed week to help me maintain work and family responsibilities, and allowing myself a free weekday if I needed it for appointments.
The support from my colleagues has been just as important, who have shown real kindness and empathy, checked in with me often, and made the world of difference.
They have also given me frequent reminders to take care of myself – something that carers can frequently struggle with!
I’ve provided some tips for taking care of yourself while caring for someone else:
- Remember the positives: You are making a difference in somebody’s life. Writing down the things you are grateful for, and reading it back in more difficult moments, can help you focus on the positive aspects of caring.
- Talk to other people: Talking to others can help reduce feelings of stress and isolation, and help others understand the support you need. keeping difficult feelings inside can make things worse in the longer term.
- Look after your physical health: Eating healthily, getting enough sleep, and keeping physically active also helps support your mental health and wellbeing.
- Maintain your interests: Try to keep up your hobbies and interests where you can – you may need to be a bit creative with this if you're busy – but try to do something you enjoy every day, for example, putting on your favourite music while you’re washing up!
- Be kind to yourself: Everyone’s experience is different, and feeling frustrated, guilty or overwhelmed are normal.
- Ask for help: This is not always easy. As well as family and friends, support may be available via your GP or memory clinic, local social services, support groups and online forums. Talking therapies such as CBT can also be helpful.
There are more than three million working carers in the UK, and many NHS staff also look after a relative or friend who relies on their support, due to mental or physical illness, disability, frailty or addiction.
The Carers Network at St Bartholomew’s is an open and safe environment for staff to share experiences, discuss how they can balance work and caring responsibilities, and help look at how they can build awareness across the Trust.
For further information about the network contact Frances Price.
Martine Burrell is a delirium specialist and occupational therapist at St Bartholomew’s Hospital.
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